“The dripping seconds of time…
From the leaking faucet of life…
What have you done?
What have you caused?
Can you not see and do you not care! ”
As much and as many promises as we make to ourselves, we can never know whether we will stick to these promises that we utter and swear, to for time is like the wind, it changes a person. It changes their mind, their heart and their course, dispersing the promises that were made in a silent moment between two loving hearts.
Ahmed promised Saara that he would never leave her side. He whispered it into her ear day after day and then night after night and he didn’t leave her. He kept his word and he sat at her bedside until she opened her eyes and stared back at him.
“Saara?” I gasped!
” Nurse! Nurse!” I called for the nurse, all the while having Saara stare at me blankly. I grabbed her and enveloped her in my arms lovingly, sobbing into her neck. She was back! After 2 weeks of a deep and uncertain sleep, she was finally back. It had been just over 2 months since we wedded and finally, finally life could begin, again and anew.
I was so grateful that I kept uttering the word’s ” she’s back, she’s back” over and over again as I watched the nurse tend to Saara ….
At least that’s what Ahmed thought, that’s what he hoped for.
But Saara just sat there, staring back at him with an expressionless face …
She was no longer ‘Saara’. She wasn’t Ahmed’s Saara any longer. She did not recognize him. He was a stranger to her. The trauma to her brain had caused her to lose her memory, and she could not remember events or people that she encountered within the last 5 years. She lived in a world and a time frame where Ahmed did not exist.
She looked at Ahmed quizzically as though he were a stranger intruding in on her, spying on her, a stranger who was unwanted and unwelcomed by her.
Pain seeped through Ahmed’s heart. He stood with his back against the cold and sterile wall unable to grasp what had just transpired. His legs gave in and his body slid down the wall until he was crouching on the floor. He sat outside her hospital room asking himself “Why!” shaking his head in disbelief. The doctor had asked him to leave the room after explaining to Ahmed the severity of Saara’s condition.
Ahmed was drenched in pain from head to toe. His mind was a battle field with a myriad of thoughts shooting through his brain painfully.
And just behind the wall which he sat leaning against, was a confused Saara sitting on her hospital bed. She sat looking at the doctors as they probed her eyes open whilst flashing a tiny flashlight into them, she listened to them ask her silly questions like how old she was, what was her last name and then they asked her who was the man that stood at her bedside when she woke up, She said that she did not know him. Her parents looked at each other with a look that unsettled her. She asked them what had happened to her and why was everyone staring at her so strangely but they did not answer her, they just looked down, with heads hung low in despair…
Ahmed sat on the floor of the passageway as nurses, doctors and visitors passed him by not noticing them at all, even though they slowed down, regarding him and staring at his sad and sorry sight.
Tears ran like streams out of his eyes and he wiped them away furiously as quickly as they fell. They ran in all directions in search of the plunge of a waterfall running down his face, dangling at the end of his bearded chin as they quivered and then leaped off the plunge getting lost in his t-shirt. But all that Ahmed could do was sit there, hopeless, helpless, lost and as confused as a stranger in a foreign land, for that’s just what he was to Saara now, a stranger.
‘He shouldn’t have left her, and perhaps if he stayed she wouldn’t be driving when she was, he would have been driving’.
Thoughts like these ran around and around in his mind. Ahmed banged the back of his head against the wall as he envisioned himself in the crashed car, bleeding with broken bones lying unconscious with his head slumped back. He wished that it was him that got hurt and not Saara. Surely he deserved it, he thought.
But life and time run a course of their own, waiting for no one, listening to no one, following only the command of Allah.
Suddenly a thought occurred to Ahmed, a thought that fueled him with hope. Perhaps he could win Saara back all over again. He was a dented man, injured without the evidence of cuts and bruises, grasping at straws, hoping to find a way out of this surreal moment.
Could he make her fall in love with him all over again? Excitement flickered dimly within him, wafting by quickly. He thought of swooning her with love and kisses and roses all over again. It was all almost exciting. He smiled a little at the prospect of this. He wanted to fill Saara with so much love, to dote over her and to help her recover fully. She was his Queen and he would see to it that no harm ever reached her again.
But as it happens so many times, for so many people, his silent fear became a reality. Saara wanted ‘space’ and did not want to return home with her husband. She wanted to return to her parents’ home, the only home that she knew. Ahmed was shattered and he feared at that moment that she would never come back to him. His wife had slipped through his fingers, the very fingers which Saara’s own were weaved so perfectly into.
But with time comes those fleeting moments of hope and courage accompanied by the companionship of unbelievable miracles.
The doctors as well as both their parents had not told Ahmed that Saara was pregnant. There was a fifty percent chance that Saara could have died, taking with her their baby so they kept the hidden soul, beating and pulsing, a secret in case they both didn’t make it.
But they did. They both made it!
Was there hope for them yet…
A life was about to enter this world….
Surely there was hope as everyone awaited time to once again run its course….