“Study me as much as you like, you will not know me, for I differ in a hundred ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes and see me as I see myself, for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see.” ~ Rumi
As the world see’s the stream of people flowing through the days, weeks, months and years, we are all somehow oblivious to each other. Lost in a realm of our own, in thoughts and feelings of our own, it is almost as if we live in another world as each one of us houses unique impressions of ourselves, of life and of each other.
Have you ever wondered how does someone else see you or what do they perceive you to be? And how much does it matter to you? Should it even matter at all!?
Allah has created each person unique and it is only Allah, our Creator, who is able to accept and love us as we are. He alone is aware of every thought that we have and every action that we have enacted, but do we even realize this or are we at times too consumed with thoughts of what does SHE think of me?
And if we were to ever know just what the next person thinks of us, how would that affect us and would it change us in any way?
If someone thinks that you are ‘good’ in many ways, while you alone know of your silent and personal battles, does it boost your spirit and ego or will it reduce you to the fear of being held accountable for that which they perceive you to be? And what if they think ‘poorly’ of you because their impression of you is laced with suspicion and bad thoughts, would it hurt you to know their true thoughts?
But what does it matter what man thinks of another man when each man is held accountable only by Allah…. SubhanAllah….
It should matter most to you what Allah thinks of you! It should consume your mind as you wonder, what does the owner of my soul think of me and how can I better myself for Him only….
As I lay my tired head down to sleep, reciting adhkaar and floating through different thoughts and feelings, I sometimes ask Allah, “Oh Rhabbi, what do You think of me? Have I displeased You today? Will you forgive me if I have?”
My heart begins to race as anxiety over my thoughts begin to break through. What if Allah hasn’t yet forgiven me!? What if Allah is displeased with me!?
A hush falls over me as I remember this hadith:
” I am as my servant thinks of me. I am with him when he remembers Me. If he mentions me within himself, I mention him within Myself. If he mentions me in an assembly, I mention him in a better assembly. If he comes near to me a handspan, I come near to him the distance of a cubit, if he comes near to me the distance of a cubit, I come near to him the distance of two outspread arms, and if he comes to me walking, I come to him running”. (Sahih Bukhari)…
Alhamdulillah, over and over again Alhamdulillah. My soul is renewed and invigorated with the reminder. I smile as liquid happiness pricks through the corners of my eyes. My Allah loves me. My Allah is all that matters to me.
I once read somewhere that to know how much Allah loves you and to know how much Allah thinks of you, look within yourself to see how much do you think of Allah, how much do you love Allah… Will you put the needs of a person before Allah? Or will you halt in your steps as you first ask yourself, will this please my Allah or will it displease Him? Life is a continuous flow and stream of movements, some will take you towards Allah, while some moments will come to test you, to test your faith, to see if you will step back and step away from Allah, even if for a moment….
May Allah never let us move away from Him even an inch…..
What should it matter what any person thinks of you if Allah is who you strive to please…. No man is perfect nor is he able to house only good thoughts (Husne Dhann). So be aware of the fact that as you toil and strive to your Maker, you will meet passers by who will not yet understand your journey and yet it is not for them to understand as it is your journey, yours and yours alone. Each person embarks on his own journey to Allah, at the time that Allah ordains, in the manner that Allah wills. No two people will share the same thoughts and feelings, for each has his own mind, his own heart, yet each mind and heart is owned by only one Allah…. SubhanAllah. Some will over praise you as a test of your faith. Will you allow their praise of you to settle over you or will you set it free to float away reminding yourself that you are nothing more than a servant of Allah’s and praises are always for Allah only……
So as the world looks at you with assessing eyes, probing your actions, dissecting your reasoning for doing everything, smile as you make your intentions for Allah first. He is aware of even that which you have long forgotten. He is more merciful than even a mother is to her child. He is able to forgive what man will find difficult to forgive and to overcome. This is the Allah to which we belong, The most Beneficient Allah, The Merciful Allah…..
The opinion of man should not matter to you for Allah has said that he created man weak and fallible. Man can do nothing for another man as it is only Allah who is able to see to the needs of His servant, to answer their pleas, Allahuakbar….
So as I remember the words of a friend who once over praised me for a simple act of goodness, I remind myself that any act of goodness is done for Allah’s pleasure first. I am grateful that Allah has shielded my flaws from her eyes for if we all knew exactly what each person did and what exactly they thought, perhaps we would have no friends at all. And when moments arrive to riddle me with suspicion and enmity over what a person has said about me, I utter the words of one of the companions of Nabi (SAW) ….” If what he says of me is true, may Allah forgive me, if what he says is false, may Allah forgive him”….