Behind her crafted mask… Episode 4…

” Tell me about your childhood” …




The cool leather moistened and stuck to my neck as beads of sweat broke through my skin seeping into the black leather beneath me, attaching me firmly to the sofa. I could no longer move. I was glued. I was stuck there! I could not leave! Maybe it was a tool that psychologists use – they trick you into lying down as they have the leather sofa gently attach itself to your skin so that you can’t leave!



I pictured myself giving her every account of my littered and strewn childhood and the thought exhausted me! Did I really have to travel back to the land of nowhere?



I shift awkwardly as I remove the imaginary suction cups from the leather to my skin…





” It was …. Lonely”….. I answer.





My eyes are closed and I enjoy the rhythm of my breathing against the silence of the blank walls.






She says nothing back to me, at first…
And I am content to just … Be
To be there. To lie on the leather sofa that doesn’t belong to me. To have her sit beside me, to observe me like a specimen, like sleeping beauty perhaps, to write pages of notes about me which I won’t get to read. My neck flinches and I wish that she would reach out her hand and stroke my hair.








I don’t think so….






I’m not her anymore and I don’t need “her” anymore….






” I think that your childhood was more than lonely. I think that it was confusing for you. I think that you felt sad, betrayed and lost.”






I was amazed at her ability to read my thoughts and emotions as though she were reading it from the very page in front of her! Perhaps someone told her my story before she met me! Rage swims upstream through my veins and my face flushes red with anger but before I get up to question her, she questions me….





” Can you tell me why you killed your father?”…





To be continued…



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