The mist of uncertainty clouds my sense of direction…..
Which way do I go?
What direction do I choose?
Left? Right? Or do I tread carefully straight ahead?
All around me I see nothing! But deep down I feel something……
Something lures me in, deeper still in. It calls at me, whispers to me and ushers me further, deeper into the unseen, into the blinding mist…..
” Whose there?”
” Is anybody there?”
And no answer….
And yet still I find my feet trailing further in, deeper in, voluntarily yet involuntarily as well.
And isn’t that just simply the journey of life, the design of life. Whether it is voluntarily or involuntarily, we find our feet stepping one in front of the other…. Even when we think that we cannot move anymore, even when we think that we cannot take anymore, still we walk, still we trudge and still we make our way forward knowingly and sometimes unknowingly….
But why do we do this? Why do we trudge while limping, whilst weeping and how are we even able to do this?
Is someone there? Is someone calling my name from the depth and hollow of the whiteness beyond the blinding mist?
Of course there is, it is Allah that is there. Way ahead of you is He, within your head too there He is, all around you will you find Him there. He is there, holding your hand and pulling you deeper in. Don’t be afraid for when your hand is in Allah’s hand and when your mind is engaged in His embrace then never could you step a foot wrong, never could you get lost.
Life is sometimes paralyzing, at others times it is confusing and a lot of times it is daunting to say the least….
We don’t know where to go or which direction to choose…. Decisions! Choices! And where do we find the answers?! Look within, that is all that you need. Your soul holds every answer that you could possibly seek for in the soul resides the memory of Allah. In your soul is your hidden compass, the compass that leads to Allah.
Look back and notice your footprints from the tired trail that you’ve left behind. The path that you’ve traversed seems sometimes unbelievable, as if it was never you who stepped through it. A distant and vague memory it has become. Was it me? Did I really live through that? Yes it was you and yes you made it through, by the will and the mercy of Allah…..
We sometimes think or feel that we cannot even relate to that person, to who we once were or what we once lived through. And at that precise moment we wondered how would we make it through, through life’s tests, through the almost blinding mist. And yet here we are, still trudging, still walking, growing and changing and become anew. Morphing into who we were meant to become by stepping on the slippery stones of the pond of life….
You’ll be okay! You’ve made it up until now or are you not sitting there reading this, wondering how true it rings. Reminiscing about where you were, where you are now and wondering where you will land up in time to come.
I see a glimmer of something. A flash of light, or is it a mirage. A shimmering light breaks through the dying mist perhaps. Relief bathes my heart and washes over my mind as I begin to see figments of trees. I walk faster, my pace quickens and I am almost running to escape the cloudiness, the blinding fog of whiteness….
I see fields of green, with all the promises of what was just a moment before unseen. My heart leaps and my eyes weep. Faster I am running, as rivers pour from my eyes and gratitude motors my heart. Finally! I am here and I (involuntarily or perhaps it is voluntary) turn to look back at the woods from which I just moments before emerged.
I fall down, another voluntary action or perhaps again it is involuntary as my soul tugs me down low enough to bow, I prostrate to Allah, I am grateful to Him for never leaving my hand, for guiding my heart and my mind. I made it to the valley of peace, the time of ease, to relish in, to enjoy, to remember Allah all the while.
But what is it that I see in the far distance ahead? More clouds? More storms? Or is it more mist? It looks like more uncertainty and more tests….
I smile knowing that when I reach those mist filled woods, I’ll still have Allah to hold my hand and see me through…..