I sit on my musallah emptying my woes into my begging cups, into my chapped hands.
I sit here as these injuries, these wounds, still bleed and drip from my eyes.
I recall each blow to my heart.
I recall each crush , each stab and each cut….
The wounds begin to heal, they begin to close. “Will their scars ever leave me though?” I stare at the dark unsightly gashes as I wonder…..
I recall the perpetrator’s with a deep found hurt. The one’s who smiled to my face while hiding the dagger behind their back.
The friend who hugged me while she cringed at any and all success! The one who blamed me while being blame worthy himself! Why was I so open? So naïve to think this world would love me? Why did I share my secrets, my hopes, my dreams….
The slashing words… The betraying actions… All these have splattered the emotions with which I overflow … with which I write….
The canvas of my heart is sprayed with blood from my wounds. I still recall the days when I thought I had a world full of friends….
If I knew! If only I knew! This world houses no friends for me… There are no companions here for me to keep…. And each and every soul will inevitably make us weep!
Each word has changed my world…. Each word has opened my mind and unlocked treasures for me to find…. Cryptic clues in this world I have uncovered….
Silly me! I exposed my faults hoping for a friend to cover me, sheath me, or comfort me… No friend did I find here… All I found were masks hiding true identities all the while revealing my true identity….
I’m glad to have discovered all that I never knew. If this cruel world hadn’t injured me perhaps I would have never been bruised. Perhaps I would have never felt used! But would I have even learned (anything)? This classroom is so full! Its much too much to swallow and digest. So slowly I uncover the truth behind each false smile. Each empty glare has something worthwhile which to share…
I am on a journey of the soul. Each character is vital to reaching my unseen, my un-reached destination and dream. As the masks fall, I know which way to walk.
I am grateful to have been hurt, injured and betrayed. Yes these scars seems to be lightening. My canvas too is whitening.
My course has changed again. I head into the unseen while they all stand in the middle of arid land somewhere in nowhere. Perhaps I can be the striking daisy that sprouts out of the thorny bushes….???
A friendly face with a warm embrace…..??? Yes that is what I will be for each who pass me by as some hide daggers and some others hide smiles….
I have learned the art of forgiving the sinner, of un-burdening the soul, of loving the unloved and of giving to the destitute. I have learned to be by witnessing what not to be.
This world is a cold and lonely waiting room which needs to be brightened up with daisies, or did you think it to be your home? No, no it is merely your filling station, fill up to your full. Drink from the cup of love and overflow your words through devotion. Devotion to the Lord above, all around and everywhere… Allahuakbar